Letter from Melinda to the Schools

January, 2001

To Whom It May Concern,

I am a 27 year old survivor of sexual abuse. As a child, I was abused for five years between the ages of ten and fifteen. I was just the average kid in school with many dark secrets. I didn't know where to get help. I didn't know who I could talk to and I didn't know that there could be an end to my abuse. It was by fluke when everything finally came out into the open. Let's just say that it didn't come out because I decided to come forward with it or that someone recognized that I was being abused. It came out because a young girl going through her own issues with Children's Aid was asked if she knew anyone that had problems. If I had known that someone would have listened to and believed me, I am confident that my abuse would not have gone on for as many years as it did.

Today, there are many more children just like I was, who don't know that they can get help or even where to get it. They don't know how to say "no", and they have no idea there are steps they can take to end their abuse. These children need to be taught the vital skills necessary that can help them. Where can they get this information? The majority of sexual abuse cases occur within the home of the abused child. Therefore it would not be prudent to place the teaching responsibility upon the parents within the home. My mother knew about my own abuse, yet for reasons of her own, she somehow felt too close to the situation and too powerless to stop it. School is the logical place for children to receive this training.

We wonder why we have children who are depressed, withdrawn, destructive and violent in our classes at school. All of these can be signs and symptoms of abuse. Abused children don't feel there is anything they can do about their situation and can sometimes vent their feelings in the only way they know how, often destructively. They simply don't know any other way to deal with their pain. And isn't this damaging behaviour something that schools want to prevent?

Children are taught in schools about drugs, sex education, sexually transmitted diseases. But is enough being taught about sexual abuse? There are so many children out there, even right now, who require help. Schools need to educate and prepare children about the prevention of sexual abuse. This will promote awareness, create a safety net so that they'll feel more comfortable about coming forward, and they'll most likely disclose their abuse. We will be giving them a light at the end of a dark tunnel. A better chance than I ever had.

Please think about the helpless children who have lost and who are even now losing their innocence because they never had a choice. No child should ever feel alone or isolated. Please help make a difference for these children!

Melinda
Childhood Sexual Abuse Survivor

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